Earplugs, Pugs, and CPAP's

I had a doctor appointment last week with the guy responsible for a big improvement in my life. When I last saw him some six months ago, I inquired about possible side effects of some medication he had prescribed. For years, Ingrid (and other people) have periodically teased me about my fondness for a good afternoon nap. I generally wrote off their negativity and figured they just lacked appreciation for one of life's great simple pleasures.


However, the number and length of my naps was even beginning to bother me. I noticed I was more groggy in the mornings, and tired by lunch. A planned 30 minute catnap had turned into an inevitable two and a half hours, sometimes longer. My sleeping was beginning to interfere with other things I wanted to do.


Another thing was the snoring. I have always snored pretty loudly. In fact, I once went to an ear, nose, and throat doc to see what he had to say. After running some kind of scope up my nose and down my throat, he opined "Lose 20 pounds and quit smoking. " Given my lifestyle and work habits at the time, he might as well have told me to take up pole vaulting. Didn't happen.


Ingrid started wearing earplugs so she could get some sleep, but that merely added another element to the seemingly endless string of tales she had to share with her girlfriends and anybody else who would listen. I have known for several years that I was a major topic at the weekly girl's coffeeklatch where they gather to compare husbands and compete for each others' sympathy. The earplugs didn't bother me; well, maybe a little guilt sometimes. I actually found it kind of intriguing that they make "designer earplugs" of different colors that have their own custom storage case. The biggest problem with the earplugs was that Zoe ( our youngest pug) liked to eat them; I always worried she would get a blockage or something.


Anyway, for the last several years Ingrid has also maintained that I periodically seem to stop breathing and then gasp for air while asleep. Upon hearing this, my doc said " my experience is that when wives say a husband has sleep apnea, they usually do." It turns out that I fit all the classic criteria: age over 50, neck size bigger than 17 inches, somewhat flabby male, etc. He prescribed a sleep test just to check it out.


Obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) is a condition caused by some flabby tissue in the throat. When it gets flabby enough, it can collapse and shut off the airway. After a very short time, your body gets concerned about not being able to breathe, spasms and gasps for air. If you have ever woken yourself up with your own snoring, you may have experienced this. The big problem with all this is that it disrupts your sleep cycle, and puts a lot of stress on your body. You have a lot of trouble getting any deep, refreshing REM sleep; you are always in the lighter sleep phases because you wake yourself up before drifting into REM. OSA is associated with all kinds of problems ranging from exacerbating heart conditions to depression. The most common treatment is a Continuous Positive Air Pressure (CPAP) machine, a device that pumps air into your lungs through a breathing mask. This creates a positive pressure in the airway and keeps the flab from collapsing.


I showed up at the sleep lab about 8:30 one evening for my appointment. After watching a video explaining what they were going to do and why, they led me into a room much like a hotel room, hooked me up to an ECG machine, adjusted some cameras, and told me to go to sleep when I was ready. There was even an NFL game on TV. It was a boring game, so I turned out the lights and closed my eyes. I remember hoping I didn't do anything embarrassing in my sleep, as I knew they were recording everything. About 2:30 am, the tech gently awakened me, holding an odd contraption. I remember mumbling something like "I have it, don't I?" and the tech replying "You sure do." She fastened a breathing mask around my head, and said "Try this CPAP." I think I went back to sleep immediately.


About 6 am, they woke me up and sent me home, explaining the final report would be sent to my doctor. However, she did share that, before trying the CPAP, I had an average of 104 apnea events per hour and that with the CPAP, I had gone immediately into deep REM sleep for three hours. All I knew was that I felt GREAT; it was like finally raising above a fog and being able to see clearly.


The CPAP machine was a little intimidating at first. They had a range of different style masks to try out. I settled on a smaller one that just covers my nose. Even though I like to think it makes me look like Tom Cruise in the movie Topgun, Ingrid assures me there will be no romance while I'm wearing it. The bottom line is that I feel a bazillion times better and no longer snore at all, not even a little bit. However, in the absence of my noise, it is now even more apparent that the two pugs who routinely share our bed also snore;Ingrid says they are just as loud as I was. Earplugs are still needed, so there is still something to share at the weekly coffeeklatch.